Head Hopping

Head hopping is the act of being in more than one person’s mind at a time. Why does this matter? Several reasons. First, it is confusing to the reader; second, it robs the reader of getting to know a character through his or her thoughts, history, and actions; and third, it interferes with the storytelling.

Paragraphing

Paragraphs are the writer’s friend. They organize chunks of text so the reader can better digest them. We learned in school that paragraphs start with a topic sentence and every sentence that follows must pertain to that topic sentence. We also learned, when writing dialogue each time the speaker changes, a new paragraph is required. Both of these bring order to the page. When writing fiction, you are likely to have both chunks of narrative and chunks of dialogue.

Head hopping usually happens when one character speaks, and the writer inserts thoughts or actions of a second character. This confuses the reader because they expect all thoughts, dialogue, and action in a paragraph to originate with the speaking character. It gets doubly confusing if both characters share the same gender. For example:

George lunged at his brother. “You lied! You told me it was over and done with.” It was, until Jocelyn entered his life. Her power swayed his every instinct. If only he could make George understand the stakes.  

So where do George’s thoughts words and actions start and where do his brother’s? See how proper paragraphing helps:

George lunged at his brother. “You lied! You told me it was over and done with.”

It was, until Jocelyn entered his life. Her power swayed his every instinct. If only he could make George understand the stakes.

In the first example, it isn’t until the final sentence you realize the character has changed when he mentions George’s name. In the second example, the new paragraph lets the reader know you’ve changed characters.

POV and Head Hopping

Works of fiction can be written from a single point of view (POV) or multiple POVs. When writing from a single POV the reader can only experience the story through the main character’s senses: what he sees, hears, feels, smells, tastes, and thinks. It’s okay for a character to suspect or guess what another character is sensing or thinking. But your character cannot know with any certainty the other character’s sensations or thoughts. The moment your character inhabits another character’s mind, they are head hopping. Multiple POV books will follow two or more characters, and the same applies. A general rule of thumb in multiple POV is to maintain one POV per chapter. So, in the example above, George gets to tell his side of the story in one chapter and his brother tells the story from his viewpoint in the next chapter. Occasionally, a chapter will switch from one POV to the other but this is always done in sections. An example of this is the romance genre where we learn the inner thoughts (and desires) of both romantic partners in the same chapter.  These are always broken into sections to let the reader know whose head they are in at any moment.

Story Flow

Head hopping impedes the flow of the story. When your reader is busy trying to figure out whose head they are in, they can’t follow the story. Do your readers a favor. Stay in one character’s head at a time, preferable for a full chapter, and use proper paragraphing to distinguish the words and actions of each character as distinct from other characters on the page.