Hoof Print in the Snow

If only I could focus reader attention the way my dog focuses on tracking a deer through the snow. Wait, maybe I can!

Remove Distractions

Snow blanketed the ground nearly a week ago, masking the usual smells that Dusty loves to sniff on our daily walks. Shrubs marked by other dogs, clumps of native grass flattened by sleeping deer, and bird nests of ground dwelling quail were all buried by inches of snow.

So instead of stopping at every bush, tree, and possible ground nest to satisfy her olfactory senses, Dusty has taken to shoving her nose in each hoof print she passes, breathing in what I imagine is the heady scent of smelly deer feet. It’s comical really, she thrusts her nose in one hoof print, then the next, and so on until I tug on her leash, breaking the spell.

The absence of competing smells allows her to devote all her attention to those aromatic-to-a-dog hoof prints. That’s the lesson I learned from our morning walk. Too often we distract our reader with competing details. What about Show Don’t Tell, you ask?

Show don’t Tell?

I am a strong believer in show don’t tell. It can set the scene, develop emotional resonance with your reader, and give context to the story. But if your goal is to build tension, all those showy details can distract your reader.

Think of great movie thrillers where you’re compelled to watch the hero get deeper and deeper into trouble. Note the camera angles, the close ups, the lack of extraneous anything. That’s focusing the viewer’s attention.

Film vs. Print

The writer’s equivalent to a camera angle is point of view. As tension mounts, the world closes in. Our hero is intimately aware of his limitations as well as what is expected of him. Interior thought combined with external forces drive the hero’s actions.

The film maker’s close up converts to the writer stripping away extraneous details. This is how the writer zooms in and demands reader focus. While a cameraman’s close up may show the hero’s face, the writer is more likely to focus on the hero’s thoughts and desires. The reader experiences the hero’s emotions and so suffers right along with our hero.

If you’ve done your job of setting the scene, creating conflict, and developing your characters, your reader will be invested in your hero. To focus reader attention and build tension at critical moments, remove unnecessary descriptions, just like a blanket of snow eliminates distracting scents for a dog who loves to sniff her way through her daily walk.