sense of sight, show don't tell
how to,  writing craft

Show Don’t Tell with Sense of Sight

The writer’s mantra show, don’t tell has an obvious partnership with the sense of sight. We show the reader what we see with our eyes. We see shape, size, color, direction, and motion. How best to show these?

Comparisons

Beginning writers naturally gravitate to the sense of sight in description. We are after all, visual creatures. Be careful not to catalog what you see: the big blue house sat at the end of a long gravel drive. sense of sight, SDTThis example includes size, color, and distance descriptors-big, blue, and long. While these all paint an image for the reader, the image is bland and without character. Instead, use comparisons to tease out emotional threads. A house the color of a stormy sea loomed over the landscape at the end of a drive with gravel as sharp as broken glass. This image gives a sense of foreboding. We’re pretty sure nothing good can come of a visit to this place!

Distance and Sense of Sight

sense of sight, SDTNear, far, at arm’s length, and nose to nose all describe distance. Sometimes you will want your description to be neutral: in a land far away. Other times you will want to make it more personal. They stood nose to nose, daring each other to flinch. Whether you describe in neutral or personal terms depends on your intent. Are you trying to up the tension or simply describe a setting?

Think about where you want your focus. The foreground will spotlight details. A midrange focus gives an overall picture of your setting with mere hints at detail. Background, on the other hand is strictly for scene setting purposes. As your story unfolds, your focus may change. That’s okay, let your story dictate the focal point.

Motion

One aspect of sight often overlooked by beginning writers is motion. Speed and directionality each have their own vocabulary. sense of sight, tortoiseTortoises plod, cheetahs streak. An accident happens in a blink, traffic moves at a glacial rate. Rain falls, fountains spout. Mountain goats scramble, otters tumble. When showing speed and direction avoid using the obvious—fast, slow, up, down—they add nothing to your writing.

To make your writing sizzle, create visual imagery for your reader. Use comparisons to evoke emotions, change focus to place attention where you want it, and banish boring words.