With no sentence flow, Dick and Jane are dull as tofu. But that’s how I learned to read. It’s a wonder I ever developed a passion for it. Most sentences are two to six words long. See Spot. Spot is Dick and Jane’s dog. There’s a limited word list—this is Dick Jane Spot run house— you get the idea. It begged to be read in robotic monotone, and who wants to listen to that? Repetition may help you learn to hit a baseball, but Dick-and-Jane-style repetition just makes you want to throw up!
Structure
Luckily, I was exposed to other great literature: A Thousand and One Arabian Nights, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, and Hans Christian Andersen to name a few. Do you see a pattern? I was raised on once upon a times in faraway lands.
The most basic sentence structure is subject-verb. That works well until you start beginning each sentence with the same word. For example: “Hold on,” Neveah crooned. “Let me fix your little house.” She rummaged in her book bag and pulled out a fat pink eraser, a fidget spinner, and a hacky sack. She rearranged the books so that the edge of one book held open the pages of the next. She used the eraser and the hacky sack to prop the pages open for a door. . . It’s obvious this rough draft needs work.
Start by going through your paper and highlighting the first word of each sentence. If every sentence starts with the same word as in the example above, it’s time to change things up. The next step is to see if you can shuffle the words in a few sentences to break subject-verb monotony. For instance, rearrange the sentence, Neveah put the water and fidget spinner in the middle of the fort before unlatching the carry-all, to Before unlatching the carry-all Neveah put the water and fidget spinner in the middle of the fort. Do you see how I used the exact same words but switched the second part of the sentence for the first part?
Sentence Length and Flow
Long florid sentences slow the reader down. This is fine if you want to immerse the reader in sensory detail or you want the reader to pay attention to some important feature of the story. Perhaps you want to give a warm and fuzzy vibe, communicate a place of safety or comfort. On the other hand, short sentences convey action. They ramp up tension. What’s next?
Sentence length is especially important in fiction since it affects pacing. Revise accordingly.
Word Choice
Another thing to consider when revising for sentence flow is vocabulary. You don’t want to use technical jargon when writing to Aunt Marge who still uses a landline. But you do want to use scientific terms in a research paper on biodiversity. Your audience will determine word choice.
Don’t make the mistake of thesaurus mining, in an effort to look smart. This can easily backfire. Use your thesaurus when you find yourself repeating words. Otherwise, stick with the familiar.
The sentence is the basic building block of writing. As writers our job is to entertain, inform, and share opinions. Use sentence variety and targeted vocabulary to hold your reader’s attention.
